Favorite A/J Smutfics... ADULTS ONLY!

justme · 22 Nov 07 :: 22:09

Not really, no. But I have heard her mention Motorhead.:o

TeeJay · 22 Nov 07 :: 22:15

LOL. Okay, time to set the record straight.

Fact no. 1: I don't think I even know one song by Motörhead. In fact, I had look up their correct spelling. I know that it's a heavy metal band, that's all.

Fact no. 2: I like the Peppers, but I wouldn't consider myself a "fan". I have some of their CDs, but not as original, bought ones. If I'm a fan of someone, I buy their CDs. They have a few really good songs, though. But I only really know their later stuff. I like the Californication CD, but the album I like best is By The Way. Stadium Arcadium also has a few really good tracks.

So, how did we end up talking about rock bands??? :clueless:

-TeeJay

TheCentralScrutinizer · 23 Nov 07 :: 04:09

Yeah, damnit, back to the smut!

justme · 23 Nov 07 :: 06:48

Sorry. :embarrassed: It was just my sneaky way to get TeeJay to break out the umlauts. :D

Okay, back on topic:

"His eyes fluttered shut, he buried his face in her hair. She stroked the back of his neck with her left hand. Her right hand..."

Last edited by justme (23 Nov 07 :: 18:53)

BiggestChrisMarquetteFan · 23 Nov 07 :: 07:10

I agree Deb. More smut!!

TheCentralScrutinizer · 27 Dec 07 :: 06:13

Posted a new fic at FFN today, written by Carol and I. It's definitely smut. Our sequel to femmenerd's To Give Is To Receive:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3970493/1/Experiments

TheCentralScrutinizer · 30 Dec 07 :: 00:59

I just gotta say this... our smut rocks! By "our" I mean, TeeJay, Laura, Carol and myself. Carol told me about a story on FFN called The Nicest Of The Damned, as an example of what she called "very, very bad porn". Of course, I had to see for myself. So I read most of the blasted thing yesterday, waiting to get to chapter six, where the smut happens and when I did...

O.M.G. :puke:

I have never read anything so gross or out-of-character in my life!

Here's what I sent to Carol last night after I finished chapter 6 and decided to skip the rest of the story...

Just what every girl wants on her honeymoon, to be called a dirty slut by the man she loves when she's still (ridiculously) a virgin. Especially God's girl. There was way too much projecting of the author's own personality into this story. Did he/she even really watch the show? Was this A/U? Annoying and disgusting. And a testament to how starved we are for new fics that I read most of it, but thankfully not all.

I hate to insult another writer, but I'm still agog and appalled by what I read. It has gotten no reviews yet on FFN. I'm tempted, but I'm afraid I'll rant.

Anyone else braved this thing?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3952760/1/N … the_Damned

To me, it almost sounds like it was written by a 20-30 year-old British MAN. If it was written by a teenage or young adult girl, I honestly fear for the future. If that's what she thinks love sounds like...

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 01:11

.... I tried to get through the first few chapters a while ago and gave up. It's just waaay too out of character. And the subject of it made me very uncomfortable. The smut just really grossed me out... there's no words.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 30 Dec 07 :: 01:25

So you did try to read chapter 6? Who were those people pretending to be Adam and Joan?!?

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 01:33

I forced myself through it, skipping the "sex" (if you can call it that). It's not just the sixth chapter... who were the people pretending to be the entire cast the whole way through?

TheCentralScrutinizer · 30 Dec 07 :: 01:38

Oh, yeah, I know. The whole thing was just bizarre. But I was most disturbed by the sex.

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 01:48

Can that even be classified as sex? I think what happened in chapter six is refered to as pr0n or buttsecks.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 30 Dec 07 :: 02:31

Well, there was that, but there was more that bugged me too. I guess overall it was just the idea that Joan would be so kinky and disgusting AND still a virgin. And that Adam would go all Ron Jeremy.

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 02:42

Yeah, I just realized that. She said she likes big c***s (one of the few words I refuse to write), but what does she have to compare Adam to? And how does she know she likes buttsecks? I'm sure her dildo wasn't that amazing.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 30 Dec 07 :: 03:06

And she bought beads? Yeah, right!

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 03:07

I want to know how she got hold of all that stuff... it's a small town. I'm sure someone would see her "hey, Will, was that your kid I saw go into that adult novelty store?"

TheCentralScrutinizer · 30 Dec 07 :: 03:17

LOL! Yeah, true. Maybe near the college there was a "head shop" that also sold sex toys. That's kind of the way it is here with Starship, This That & The Other (which also sells sports memorabilia?!?), and NC-17 (which also sells skateboards?!?).

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 03:26

They were in college? Proves how well I read it...

The only place like that we have around here is actually down the street from the high school and called Adult Gifts (creative, right?)

I read the author's bio... he/she/it said they began writing 10 years ago, hopefully that means they're at least in their 20s and not some horny teenager.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 30 Dec 07 :: 03:40

He/she/it hasn't developed much in 10 years. There are zero segues in the story. It jumps from location to location and in time with no warning at all. Almost gave me whiplash a few times. Joan fist fighting the demon in Hell was just crazy. And that line to her mom about when she's dying after her suicide where she says something about her last thoughts being, "I don't wanna die," and, "Wow, my nipples are perky," just knocked me sideways. This HAS to be a guy.

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 03:41

.... obviously I have to read more than the sixth chapter.

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 03:49

Ok, I read that part... honestly... it made me laugh :embarrassed:

TheCentralScrutinizer · 30 Dec 07 :: 03:53

Well, that line was definitely original. The first two chapters are so hideous I guess it's no wonder most people don't get very far into it. All they are is some psycho bitch version of Joan screaming at people. Was the writer trying to make it a relief when she died and finally STFU for a minute?

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 04:12

Yeah, I know. I was seriously sick of it at that point. Everyone has bad days... and usually people don't kill themselves especially not because their brother accidently threw out homework. I'm sure if Helen talked to Joan's teacher about what happened, she would have gotten an extension. Or she would have failed the class. Oh well. Summer school's nothing to kill yourself over. I've been there a few times, it's a pretty cool place.

I didn't even realize I hit 1500... 21 posts ago.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 30 Dec 07 :: 04:17

Way to go!

Yeah, I went to summer school for one credit so I could graduate after first quarter of my senior year. It was really laid back.

Those characters simply are NOT even close to themselves in any part of this story. It's like somebody just lifted the show's tableau wrote a hard core porno. I just really need to wash it out of my brain.

magicalturkey · 30 Dec 07 :: 04:21

Should we wash it out with our well-written smut?

Chris Marquette Message Board

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