Joke Of The Day

BiggestChrisMarquetteFan · 16 Dec 08 :: 04:53

Thanks for the tip. I have used Mozilla before on other people's computers and I like it much more. I definitely will this time around.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 16 Dec 08 :: 05:00

You'll love it.

justme · 22 Jan 09 :: 20:26

Has anyone seen this? It tickled me silly!

TeeJay · 22 Jan 09 :: 20:32

LOL! Priceless! Now, where can I find a man with those qualities who's around my age, not too shabby and still single?

-TeeJay

TheCentralScrutinizer · 22 Jan 09 :: 20:48

That's HIGHlarious! And now the damn song is stuck in my heaed!

TeeJay · 30 Jan 09 :: 23:22

OMG, Becky Wahlstrom posted this on her Facebook. Hilarious!!!! Tuts my barreh. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7oGx2dImE8

-TeeJay

domesticelefant · 31 Jan 09 :: 22:08

I think my inajinasin is now ruined in a hundrentu ways ... :rofl:

TheCentralScrutinizer · 05 Feb 09 :: 01:19

Not a joke, but this video is hilarious. Poor little boy all drugged up from a visit to the dentist. We laughed our butts off at this video in the office the other day...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/0 … 63987.html

domesticelefant · 05 Feb 09 :: 15:01

Well, it may be funny for the people who watch it on Youtube but I bet it wasn't funny for the boy himself. It's not that long ago that I had to take painkillers and when I took them for the first time it gave me a dizzy feeling too and the result was that I couldn't remember where I put my bag with my purse and other important stuff. I can tell you, feeling like that was so NOT funnny.

magicalturkey · 05 Feb 09 :: 15:46

The more painkillers you take, the funnier it gets to the person who's high

TheCentralScrutinizer · 05 Feb 09 :: 16:32

I've never been under anesthesia, well, not since I was like 3 and had my tonsils taken out, but painkillers? YUM! Bring 'em on. I could use some right now. My head is still killing me.

magicalturkey · 05 Feb 09 :: 19:00

I was given morphine once when I was having problems with my wrist, it was the funniest night I'd ever had. I kept talking about cutting off my pinky.

magicalturkey · 09 Feb 09 :: 17:47

This picture just made me go "aww"

TheCentralScrutinizer · 09 Feb 09 :: 18:02

Heh. Me too.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 13 Feb 09 :: 20:42

This is fantastic. Finally a new drug that actually sounds useful!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/1 … 66140.html

TheCentralScrutinizer · 26 Feb 09 :: 00:16

These are so funny! Thanks, Carol!

Subject: Mensa vocabulary

Here's the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people which stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown .
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

BiggestChrisMarquetteFan · 26 Feb 09 :: 06:14

Those definitions are very funny and clever!

TheCentralScrutinizer · 26 Feb 09 :: 20:22

There is hope for the children of American after all...

domesticelefant · 26 Feb 09 :: 21:17

That's really cool!

magicalturkey · 26 Feb 09 :: 21:36

That's gonna be Liam one day

BiggestChrisMarquetteFan · 27 Feb 09 :: 05:25

Smart kids! It's good to know that some kids like real music.

magicalturkey · 27 Feb 09 :: 06:44

This is why you shouldn't let little kids watch scary movies: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAYWPV3F41Y

TheCentralScrutinizer · 27 Feb 09 :: 06:52

That''s HIGHlarious. That kid is effin' smart. "He'll come out, He'll come out of the TV and kick MY ass." I love it!

domesticelefant · 21 Mar 09 :: 13:14

Today's Joke of the Day:

What Vista really means:

VISTA = Virus Included - Switch To Apple

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

magicalturkey · 04 Jun 09 :: 18:15

Something every man should have a stock of

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