Twilight (contains spoilers for all books and the movies)

magicalturkey · 25 Jun 09 :: 16:15

I actually discussed Jake and Edward with a woman I work with while we were closing last night. We agreed, there was one thing that turned us off of Jake, he literally told Bella "love me, or I'm going to kill myself", he didn't give her a choice. I'm sorry, but that is not an ultimatum. That's a threat. And that made me hate him.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 25 Jun 09 :: 16:16

Yeah, if anybody did that to you in real life, you'd probably wanna run.

CappuGirl · 25 Jun 09 :: 17:23

Yeah. I've got a friend in a middle of divorce right now. She just moved out with the kids. Her mentally messed up husband has been keeping her with him for the past year by threathning to kill himself. When she left him in december, he actually tried killing himself in christmas eve. Jerk. Grinch. She moved back in fear he might actually succeed. Now he's threathning to get back at everyone that helped her to move out. I'm not afraid him. Much. I'm half expecting him to act on it.

Another friend of mine had an abusing boyfriend 10 years ago. When she left him, he threathened with suecide. And tried. She was hurt by his acts but she didn't take him back. He ended up holding a grudge on her for a year. Then took another girlfriend saying "to get back at my friend". He actually thought she'd be jealous.

If a boyfriend told me to be with him or he'd kill himself, i'd probably kick him the nuts and say 'grow up'.

Last edited by CappuGirl (25 Jun 09 :: 17:25)

domesticelefant · 25 Jun 09 :: 17:27

magicalturkey wrote:

I actually discussed Jake and Edward with a woman I work with while we were closing last night. We agreed, there was one thing that turned us off of Jake, he literally told Bella "love me, or I'm going to kill myself", he didn't give her a choice. I'm sorry, but that is not an ultimatum. That's a threat. And that made me hate him.

Same here. I strongly dislike about Jacob that he doesn't accept that Bella chooses Edward. If you really love a person, you accept their decisions.

magicalturkey · 27 Jun 09 :: 02:15

Deb, you might like the last "reaction" to RPattz getting brushed by a taxi here: http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/ro … by_taxicab

TheCentralScrutinizer · 27 Jun 09 :: 02:20

Oh, that's just effin' awesome! :rofl:

justme · 27 Jun 09 :: 16:47

Oh, that's hilarious! :rofl:

domesticelefant · 27 Jun 09 :: 17:36

magicalturkey wrote:

Deb, you might like the last "reaction" to RPattz getting brushed by a taxi here: http://www.theonion.com/content/amvo/ro … by_taxicab

I LOL'd! :rofl:

Simon · 28 Jun 09 :: 01:11

Wow. I've just decided to take a look at the kind of messages on the Taylor Lautner board on IMDb, and i was definately not expecting to see loads of messages about a clear outline of Taylor's penis.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 28 Jun 09 :: 01:24

Are there links to any pics???

Simon · 28 Jun 09 :: 01:33

Yes. Want me to link to the pics in the adult thread?

EDIT: I've posted the link in the Adult thread just for you Deb.

Last edited by Simon (28 Jun 09 :: 01:57)

TheCentralScrutinizer · 28 Jun 09 :: 03:11

Heh. Thanks. Got a little sidetracked. My puppy charge arrived. I'm sitting Bodhi for 9 days. He's very cute and sweet, but very skittish and already missing his mommy.

domesticelefant · 28 Jun 09 :: 09:35

Okay, I now officially think my brother is WEIRD. He showed up unexpectedly at my doorstep last night. Then he asked me if I have Titanic on DVD. I said no (since I don't have it) and he discovered my Twilight DVD sitting next to my DVD player. He's like "Oh cool, a vampire movie. Can we take it to our parents and watch it there?" I said okay, so we took it with us. On our way I was reading the text that's written on the back of the DVD case. It said "The most epic romance since TItanic." and he goes like: "What, it's a love movie? Oh noooo! I thought it was an action movie!" Great, first he wants to watch Titanic, the most cheesy tragic love story the world has ever seen and then he is disappointed because Twilight's not an ACTION movie? Hello???? What's that? Welcome to weirdo land?
My parents joined us for watching it, but my dad left after the first half hour since he doesn't understand English good enough to watch movies, but mom and brother totally ruined it for me. They kept asking stupid questions ("If they are vampires, why do they go to high school?" "Can vampires kiss?") and I was getting totally mad about that. Next time I'm going to watch it alone again.

magicalturkey · 28 Jun 09 :: 16:06

I would have gone into insanely long answers to your mom and brother's questions but not really answer them. Me and Whinnie did it when we got Shawn to watch Donnie Darko for the first time, he ended up more confused than he was in the first place.

domesticelefant · 28 Jun 09 :: 16:16

Well, the only thing I said was "Can't you just watch the movie?". I didn't want to spoil too much. But well, they didn't love the movie as much as I do anyway. But it was still annoying. I surely won't make them watch New Moon. LOL
My brother also kept comparing the Twilight vampires to the "official" vampire myths until I told him that Stephenie Meyer had her own theories about vampires while she wrote the book.

magicalturkey · 28 Jun 09 :: 16:24

Almost all current vampire books I've read break the "normal" vampire myths. In Twilight, they don't have fangs, they don't burn in the sun (they just sparkle!), and the Cullens don't feed off humans. And another book series I'm reading about vampires, House of Night, aren't anything like Dracula. They don't have fangs either and they don't even have venom, they don't need blood at all to live but they do enjoy it, going out in the sun doesn't kill them but it does hurt their eyes (yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds), and they don't get bitten and changed... they get touched by a tracker as a teenager, then they go to vampire finishing school until they change at adulthood or they die.

domesticelefant · 28 Jun 09 :: 19:17

I know that, Laura, it was my brother who didn't know.
Oh yeah, the sparkle thing! My mom laughed hysterically about it and my brother didn't even get it at first ... They are surely not Twilight People. Well, I don't care. I still love the book(s) and the movie(s).

TheCentralScrutinizer · 28 Jun 09 :: 19:20

I think you HAVE to break with the Dracula traditions to create a modern-day vampire story. Otherwise it's just boring, ya know? Whitley Strieber's vampires don't have fangs either, but they do have weirdly-structured mouths. But they use a little tool to open the neck to drink. And they don't have to kill every night to survive. Though some of the nastier ones do. They can go out in daylight too, but they look very weird to humans in the light, kinda like Twilight vampires, I guess. The best thing is his vampire can have sex. That's always been the most annoying old myth to me, that vampires can't have sex; drinking blood is sex to them. Boring! In Strieber's mythology, they can even procreate, though usually only once or twice even over a long life time. It's possible for half-vampires to exist who don't even know they're part vampire. They just think they're particularly powerful humans. It's a lot of fun.

True Blood hangs on to a lot of the old myths --- fangs, no daylight, sleeping in the ground to recover when injured. But they fool around with the myths a good bit too. Vampires can definitely have sex, and some of them like it very rough. I think the coolest thing is that humans can get high (and powerful) from vampire blood, so they sell it as a drug called "V'. A drop on a piece of paper like acid will get a human off.

domesticelefant · 28 Jun 09 :: 19:32

Yeah, they had this drug thing on Moonlight too. I loved that show. And those vampires didn't die in the sunlight either. Maybe I should have showed this to my brother instead of the movie. LOL

magicalturkey · 28 Jun 09 :: 19:47

TheCentralScrutinizer wrote:

The best thing is his vampire can have sex. That's always been the most annoying old myth to me, that vampires can't have sex; drinking blood is sex to them.

Yeah, them not having sex is gone with the times, I think. In Twilight they're vampires very sexual, in the last book Edward and Bella almost literally brought down the house, but Edward never wanted risk having sex with Bella while she was human because he could have killed her so easily. In House of Night blood is a big aphrodisiac and can make them orgasm, but drinking blood can and usually does lead to sex between a human and a vampire.

TheCentralScrutinizer · 28 Jun 09 :: 19:56

Sounds hot. So, what? She becomes a vampire?

TheCentralScrutinizer · 28 Jun 09 :: 22:01

I love this article...

Girlfriends' Guide To... Mommy Porn: What We're Really Fantasizing About
by Vicki Iovine
A "missing" man who happens to be Governor of South Carolina gets caught with his pants down in Argentina while his wife's only comment is something to the effect, "I'm busy here taking care of our four kids while the idiot is chasing his Evita." Have you seen this guy, Mark Sanford? A wussy fellow who says inane things in a silly and pompous press conference like, "I'm going to lay it all out and...it's gonna hurt." Oh show me how you take the pain, Big Man! It's all so tedious and sneaky and, well, unmanly.
Which is why I have joined millions of tween and teenaged girls as a devotee of the "Twilight" books. I'm not the first mid-life mom to discover the love story of a clumsy high school girl and a vampire; my girlfriend Cheryl was the first of my peers to recommend them. My 15 year-old daughter made fun of my secret interest in the series, but ended up giving me the first book on audio disc for my car. The plan was that we'd listen together while she practiced her driving under my supervision. But I started sneaking listening sessions when I was driving around town alone, and I was up to disc 6 before I had to confess to her that I was hooked.
I am shocked by this and a little disturbed by this inconsistency in my feminist politics and here's why: These books portray the archetypal barely-civilized man lusting, actually hungering, for a frail and naïve woman. She loves him because he's physically superior--tall, broad-shouldered, the whole Greek god thing, he knows her in a deep way that the rest of the superficial world has overlooked, and best of all, he can beat up anybody who messes with her. I am capable of some introspection and I, like you, can see that for a traditionally non-violent person who believes that a woman stands alone as a force to be reckoned with, there's an obvious disconnect here. Yeah, but I'm in a mood.
I'm in the mood to see more people punched in the nose by a handsome hero. Perhaps the evolution of 21st century men into laptop toting, UFL-lit frequent fliers to further self-importance leaves many women hungering for a man who can cut down a tree, rebuild an engine and catch and gut a fish. And I want one of those kinds of guys handing out a few shiners to the girly men on my list: Bernie Madoff, Bill Clinton, Rush Limbaugh to name a few. Admit it, it felt good to see someone punch Perez Hilton, didn't it? Viral bullying like his is no match for a physical call to attention. "Say it to my face, Tough Guy!" Bam!
You would never catch Edward Cullen, the vampire, creating a media event out of an abject failure of character; as in being away from his kids on Father's Day (a criminal offense), cheating on his wife and evidently not even telling her where he could be reached in an emergency (also a felony), and hooking up in the first place on a "trade visit" to Argentina. Oh no. Edward would be rescuing Mrs. Sanford from all mistreatment, take her in his arms and make her forget the rest of the world and keep his promise to love her and protect her forever. He would be so full of rage at any mistreatment of a vulnerable woman that he would have to restrain himself physically to keep from killing (and drinking) her assailants. Then they would have sex.
My favorite place to read is on airplanes and now that I'm on to my second generation of Kindle (the electronic book), I have been liberated from caring what casual observers think of my choice of literature. And as a result, mommy porn is taking over a large portion of the memory bank. I'm on my fourth book about a twentieth century woman who travels through time and falls in love with an eighteenth century Scottish Highlander. He's gorgeous, huge, fights with daggers and broadswords and wears a kilt. He also loves his woman with a fury that occasionally borders on the side of uncivilized. Best of all, when someone offends her, he later presents her with a sack holding the offender's head. Then they have sex.
This is very sexy stuff, particularly now as we watch Senator Ensign of Nevada, former Governor Spitzer of New York and on and on of these flat-assed stiffs whimpering when they're caught and their political careers are tanked. What's most offensive about those public mea culpas is how cold and reptilian they are. I'd give nearly anything to have one of those wives just slap her husband silly at one of those news conferences. I'm sick of justifications and weak explanations across the board--from the philanderers to Wall Street swindlers to psychopathic international dictators--someone needs to just once, haul off and punch them, in public. Now that's foreplay!

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-iov … 21324.html

magicalturkey · 28 Jun 09 :: 22:20

TheCentralScrutinizer wrote:

So, what? She becomes a vampire?

Yeah, Bella becomes a vampire in the last book.

And I read that article the other day. I loved it.

magicalturkey · 30 Jun 09 :: 22:09

This is hilarious. It's a song called Edward Cullen, a spoof of Heartless by Kanye West. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdKtPGb_1hQ

magicalturkey · 17 Jul 09 :: 01:19

New Moon Bella/Jacob still

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